Most associate divorce with animosity and fighting between the spouses. For couples without children, once the divorce process is over they often never have to worry about seeing the other or dealing with the other again unless they’re met with an awkward social encounter if they run into them in public. But for couples with children, divorce doesn’t end when the final agreement is reached. They must continue to see each other and talk with each other as they raise their children. While there may still be some degree of animosity present, it is often beneficial to all parties, especially the children, if they make an effort to get along.

This often starts with coming up with a physical custody plan that allows both parties to see their children an equal and fair amount of time. The first step in this process is usually determining the schedule of both parents. If one parent works long hours all day, it is often beneficial to all parties if the other parent is the custodial parent during the week with the non-custodial parent getting children on weekends. Sharing holidays is usually the best way to fairly divide these days, and alternating each year helps as well.

But if both parents work reasonable hours during the week and generally have their weekends free, an equal split might be beneficial and fair. Of course, involve the children in such a decision. Moving back and forth between two homes every two weeks or every month may be hectic and an unwelcomed change and shock, especially right after the divorce. If the children agree to such a plan, respect their decision to end it if it becomes too hectic down the road. They may welcome the idea of spending equal amounts of time with both parents, and moving back and forth between two homes for weeks at a time, but the reality of that may become difficult as they make friends and get older.

In the end, your decision as to a physical custody plan should be sought in the best interests of the children. The court acts in such a manner, and so should you as parents.