Paternity is a contentious issue in some cases, and that goes for whether the presumed father was or was not married to the child’s mother. The news that a child they believed was theirs is actually not biologically their child can shake a man’s foundation. Having a child is to some men the greatest feeling in the world. They care for the child, play with the child, and develop a relationship. When news breaks that the child isn’t theirs, it can rip the floor from under them. Such a revelation often ends in divorce or severing of a relationship. Then they’re faced with a big question: should they pay child support, and do they have to?

biological parent

For some men who discover they are not the biological parent of a child, paying to support somebody else’s child is a humiliating slap in the face, especially knowing they were betrayed and perhaps misled by the mother of the child. But the relationship they may develop leads a lot of men to pay child support if only so the child they have grown to love and adore has all they need. Unfortunately, the law is not always on their side and non-biological fathers are sometimes required to continue paying child support even if scientific evidence indicates that they are not the father.

Common sense seems to dictate that responsibility for supporting the child should fall to the biological father, not the non-biological father even if he was married to the child’s mother. But the law seems to interpret your taking responsibility as the father as acceptance of all responsibilities, including child support. This is even the case when the non-biological father was led to believe that he was the biological father of the child, or had no reason not to believe as much.

Some states, like California, assume that when the mother is married, her husband is the legal father unless otherwise stated on the birth certificate or if circumstances would have prevented him from being present at conception. It may be easier to avoid legal fatherhood if the couple is not married and a paternity test reveals that you are not the father.

The issue is extremely murky to add to the unpleasantness of the situation. It’s best to seek the counsel of a family law attorney who will answer your questions and advise you of your rights. In almost every case, though, you must get a neutral third-party paternity test to establish that you are not the child’s father; home paternity tests are not considered admissible in court.

Whenever the court makes a decision in a child custody case—or any case involving children—they act in the best interests of the child. Not all sides will agree with the decision, but whenever you approach such a case, remember that the court thinks in this way. This may help you strategize in building your case, although assistance from an attorney is key in presenting your argument. It is also important to remember to avoid the mudslinging that is unfortunately common in divorce cases, unless, of course, it is necessary to prevent an ill-suited parent from obtaining custody.

Many fathers have long proven that they are capable, loving parents with their children’s best interests at heart. But a lot of dads worry that the judge won’t care about their fatherly efforts when deciding the winner of a custody battle. Some worry that the belief that children need their mother more than they need their father, or that mothers bond more with the child, will haunt them in their case. Unfortunately, this may hold true for some dads, although most are given visitation rights that allow them to see the child on weekends, a day during the week, and on holidays or during summer vacation.

But today more judges are favoring joint custody agreements as long as both parents are considered fit and capable of providing for the child. More see the benefit to having both parents in the child’s life, allowing dads to spend more time with their children aside from the weekends and holidays they were often granted in the past. This may also be a good way to avoid the child support argument, as long as both parents are equally capable of providing and spend an equal amount of time with the child.

If one parent is unfit, whether the mother or the father, the other side must present evidence like police records, hospital records, etc. demonstrating as much. Witness testimony may be presented in some cases. If such a case exists in which the mother is deemed unfit, the father will likely be granted sole custody as long as the evidence is legitimate and fair.