When most think of domestic violence, they think of men abusing women. But the opposite may be true in some cases, and while there is not the same amount of awareness of these cases, awareness is growing. Many men who are abused are embarrassed or even afraid to come forward and alert the authorities. Women may also feel embarrassed or afraid to come forward, but the support system for abused women is greater than that provided for men.

domestic violence against men

There may even be instances of men who fear suspicion that they abused the woman they are reporting as having abused them. They may think that others will think that the abuse went both ways, and view them as at-fault instead of the abusive woman. Many women who are accused of abuse subsequently claim abuse at the hands of the man accusing them, whether the allegations against them are true or not. As a result, even fewer men come forward thinking that nobody would believe their allegations.

Countless stories tell of men who are physically abused by women calling the police only to be arrested themselves when the police arrive. One story tells of a man being driven to the hospital by the police after his wife struck him with a frying pan as he slept; the wife was not arrested. Many men who experience violence from their wives during marriage are advised not to bring up such incidents in their divorce proceedings because the court may consider it an act of violence against the wife. In these cases, perception takes center stage and allows women to get away with abuse while men pay the unjust consequences.

Many victims of domestic violence against men are hurt by emotional attacks rather than physical abuse, although the latter does exist and may go unreported. Men who are demeaned on a constant basis may develop deep emotional scarring that may have long-lasting effects. Examples of emotional abuse directed towards men include calling them cowardly, impotent, or remarking on their lack of social or professional status.

There is little data on domestic violence directed against men, which many attribute to the failure of many abused men to report the abuse. Know your resources if you’re a victim of abuse and violence. S.A.F.E. is an organization whose name stands for ‘Stop Abuse for Everyone’ and focuses on straight and gay men, and lesbian women. Talk to an attorney if you are afraid of how the police will perceive your situation, but if in dire need of help, call emergency personnel.

California has a toll-free Domestic Violence hotline where individuals can call and report domestic violence. In October 2007, Governor Schwarzenegger issued a statement reminding the public that 181,000 domestic calls were made to California law enforcement agencies in 2005 of which more than half involved weapons and physical force. In 2005, 155 people were murdered by their partners in California. These shocking statistics have motivated California courts and the legislature to be more proactive in making Domestic Violence laws and in issuing orders designed to protect individuals who are victims of domestic violence. Common practice in California courts is for judges to review a request for domestic violence restraining orders in their chambers. If the orders are denied, most judges have a stamp he or she uses to deny the request. If the order is granted, the judge will sign the order. However, a recent California Case held that it may be abuse of authority for a judge to deny a restraining order just by stamping it with a denial if no reasons are provided why the act does not constitute domestic violence. In another recent California Case, the court held that if there are children born to the parties involved in the request for restraining orders, and if the court grants a restraining order, that the court must also make child custody orders. It is abuse of discretion for the court to refuse to make such orders and request that the parties file a divorce, or if not married a petition to establish parental relationship. It appears that in an attempt to move cases along, some judges do not take the extra time to make all the necessary order in a domestic violence case. A party the needs a restraining order, the protected party, needs to make sure the court issues all the necessary orders needed to protect that party from the restrained person. Given the statistics in this article, it is clear that domestic violence and requests for restraining orders should not be taken lightly. These are serious issues that if they are ignored can have freighting consequences. For more information and a free consultation with one of our experienced attorneys call us at (800) 589-9901.